There Is Always Someone Who Will Make The Difference
Once upon a time there was a guy and a lady who met online through a personal ad that the lady had placed. He was one of many many responses. The lady took the chance and emailed him back. And so it went for the first week. The next week, they exchanged phone numbers and talked on the phone. Next, they decided to meet, and from their first date became inseparable. They met on May 9th, 1998. They clicked as possible new best friends, and became just that. They admired and respected the individual qualities within each other.
In the months ahead, after sharing countless hours getting to know each other, and building and sharing wonderful memories, and becoming confidantes, they decided this friendship was worth going further and fell in love and became lovers. They knew each others most intimate secrets, and shared their lives both as individuals and as a couple. There were never any expectations on either part, and so everything they shared kinda just fell into place as it was meant to be. They taught each other many new things, and helped each other when days were blue... whether it be a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, or a hug when eeded...they did this for each other without judgment or pity. But with true believing and understanding and acceptance for the people they each were.
They made everything they did together fun...whether it be going to the grocery store, out to dinner, a movie, fishing with gummi worms, playing in lego-land in the mall of america, or just hanging out doing nothing. They knew after a year that they were meant to be soul mates, to be together, and they did this with unspoken words....with just little things unsaid, their eyes, their hearts, their belief in each other, commitment, loyalty, honesty, love, trust. They shared many of the same ideas and beliefs, but yet remained their own separate people with ideas of their own. They believed in best friends to the end.
Sounds like a fairy tale yes???? Many people come and go in a persons life, but their will always be that 1 someone who will make the difference. The story you just read is true. Online relationships through personal ads can work. Some just don't have happy endings. MY story to you is one of those without a happy ending, but it has meaning and understanding from the heart.
You see... .1 year and 3 weeks after myself and this wonderful man met, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. We were engaged to be married. He was 29, I was 37, he died on July 28th, 1999, 9 weeks after being diagnosed. But not before we promised each other to go on.....myself after his death, and him in heaven. I am where I am today because of him, and he left this earth with a peace of mind that he had finally found true love . He accepted his dying with grace, dignity, pride, and our strength together. We did remain best friends to the end. And in the end I promised him I wouldn't be afraid to move forward and love again, as he so wished for me to do. And he promised me he would become my guardian angel and watch over me.
In the short time we were together, he taught me many things. We had this whole wonderful life planned out. He was raised in a construction family, and he helped me get into the construction business only 3 weeks before he was diagnosed. We were going to do this together. He was going to teach me what I needed to know, and then we were going to start our own business in Colorado where his 2 small daughters lived.
One month after his death, I was having an extremely hard day dealing with everything that had been going on in my life. I did remain in construction because I promised him I would continue to give it my best shot. Well, on this particular day, my emotions were running wild, and I was still in grief counseling, and nothing seemed to be going right. After work, and I must tell you, I almost quit that day. I went to the cemetery here where he is laid to rest. I cried and cried, and asked Jimmy why??? I was angry, scared, confused. I asked him to please...please... give me some sort of sign that things were going to be ok. I didn't know what I really expected to happen.
The next day, I was at work , it was a beautiful blue sky with lots of sunshine, and my job that day was to use the concrete chipper to chip away all the excess concrete we had poured the day before. As I was chipping... I kept thinking about my sign from Jimmy I so desperately needed... when I happened to look down and pick up some pieces of old concrete. I knew right then and there that this was my sign. Needless to say.. I started to cry again....but this time a happy cry, because i knew at that moment he truly was watching over me as my guardian angel.
The guys I was working with were truly amazed, and dumbstruck as to why I was acting the way I was at that time. Many of them knew Jimmy, and knew what I had been through, and when I showed them what I had found, they too believed.
I carry my angel with me wherever i go, and even though i really don't know whether i will stay in construction or not, I know that whatever i decide to do, that my Jimmy will continue to watch over me. It will forever be my strength when I need it. All i need to do is look at it to know that I was so lucky to have found that kind of love that some people are forever trying to find. And how lucky I am for being able to love someone who has been so hard to say good-bye to.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
M.